Love Is Not Enough
by Manson, Mark
Published: April 10, 2018
Read: April 11, 2020
Review
Mark Manson interviews a few kinda normal people about their relationship problems. Everyone shows some growth and the personal stories are fun, engaging, and honest. A good vicarious exploration of a few of Mark Manson's ideas about romance and relationships. Relationships are hard especially from the inside as you might imagine. More a podcast-feel than a book without any real structure and theme. Main Takeaway: Minor shifts in actions can have cascading effects on a relationship both good and bad.
Notes
Trust is needed for other attractive traits to be attractive. Like kind and successful mean you believe the person is truthful and being honest. Except mystery, mystery /intrigue goes up if you distrust. So those who don't trust, tend to love the most dishonest because other traits don't get the magnetic attraction.
Actions are reality, words mean nothing. Clear boundaries are if then stuff.
Older men often describe lack of ibtwmacy the socially acceptable way by saying the sex sucked.
Narcism favorite line is see what you made me do. People need to take responsibility for their owners reaction and emotion. Codependent take responsibility for others action. Both need other people to feel valued. If you tell your so you want time alone, it makes when you do want to hang out more significant because you knowx. Toxic relationships like power struggles holding ending the relationship over each other or being passive aggressive. But, eventually these methods must escalate to have same effect and you have to follow through to be taken seriously so relationship just gets worse and worse unnoticed over time. Drama and getting through it can make it seems so important, but just fake.
The only way turning a so into a friend is if you take some time apart and both change as people then meet up again not dependent on each other. Becoming friends are traps and a crusade of Justice can also suck you back into drama. First fight is really important for relationship shows what your made of. Most fantasy and movies are actually toxic and the fantasy and love at first sight ideal and saving people are toxic.
Lesbian saw someone years ago, and had such a small moment of her and decided she was ideal. This was years ago, but she still often thinks about and decided she was the perfect women for her. BDSM, sex master dynamic. Compatability vs chemistry. Compa is about similar lifestyles and interests on paper. Chemistry is more intangible and is a raw attraction you either have or don't. Just comp is stale relationships. Just Chemistry often creates drama in the relationship because at least you have that in common. Fantasy girl found out it's a thing, a studied addiction. Mark said off hand he thinks the jury is still out on these addiction things, but it doesn't matter what you call it if it hurts so if she wants to think of it like that it's fine. And fantasy was because her identity and worth was so shaky, she looked to these stabilizing people as fantasy. If she changed her lifez she would lose the attraction prob.
Boundary setting success. Maturely handling situations. Walking away or saying you can’t talk to me that way has a huge effect on the relationship even doing it once. If both people don’t want to take next step of commitment it ends badly.
Three loves. Lust is short term pleasure based, Roman e emotional that we all, get aught up in, and commitment like family like we are in this together.
If you like caring for people you tend to date down because they need you.
You can say your life factually and share weakness, but there is armor still like your ready for battle. Not relaxed.